Well, perhaps contest isn't the right word, as it implies a prize.
How about this: the best caption, as judged by the Bear, will receive a free bar of Zoar Genuine Goat Milk Soap, if and when such become available. Void where prohibited by law, etc. etc.
The only rules are to relax, have fun, and trust in your complete anonymity.
In the "It Could Be Worse" category, members of His Holiness Shri Ashutosh Maharaj's cult in India claim their leader -- who is evidently worth a bundle -- has been meditating since January, and is not dead, as his family claims.
Wow, imagine belonging to a religion where your leader didn't do or say anything.
The Bear heard that.
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