Saturday, June 28, 2014

St. Louis Landmark Missing!

Update: Now authorities claim statue was never missing after all. The entire park complex remains closed, however, "for renovations."

(St. Louis) Authorities are baffled by the disappearance of one of St. Louis' most recognizable landmarks: a 4000 lb. bronze statue of the Crusader King of France, Louis IX, for whom the city is named. The statue of St. Louis atop his warhorse has stood watch in front of the St. Louis Art Museum for over a century. The landmark was reported missing early Thursday morning, according to police.

The previous evening, Mayor Francis Slay had issued the city's first gay marriage licenses, creating a local controversy. Police are discounting any link between the gay marriages and the disappearance, although Mayor Slay has not ruled out terrorism.

"It just seems a bit coincidental that I issue gay marriage licenses, and suddenly an enormous statue of a saint goes missing," Slay told reporters Thursday afternoon. "We can't rule out the actions of Catholic extremists or other terrorist groups."

Authorities called eyewitness reports of "really deep" hoof prints leading away from the statue's former location "ludicrous."


  1. May he return with an army at his back.

    King St. Louis IX, pray for us and for the city that bears your name.

  2. St. Louis once said that the only way to argue with a heretic was to thrust your sword into his bowels until it would go no further, or at least that is what the Bear has read. St. Louis would need some time to be acquainted to modern sensibilities before we would wish him on any city.

    On the other hand...


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