Saturday, August 2, 2014

Cafeteria Catholic Quiz

At one of the Patheos blogs, they're talking about Cafeteria Catholics.

Are you a Cafeteria Catholic? The Bear has a quiz to find out!

Score one for each YES answer. Keep a running total and compare it to the key at the bottom. It's short, so there shouldn't be any problem keeping track.

  1. Abortion should be a woman's choice.
  2. There is nothing wrong with ordaining women priests.
  3. People must be able to enter the United States through its southern border without interference from authorities.
  4. The Church has no business interfering with a couple's choice to use contraceptives.
  5. A divorced and remarried woman should take communion if she feels like it.
  6. Proud, practicing homosexuals should be welcomed to communion because we must not place limits on love.
  7. Giant puppets are a legitimate part of the liturgy.
  8. Pope Benedict was a regressive humbug who never got over his Nazi past.
  9. The Pope could wear flip flops instead of red shoes and it wouldn't bother me.
  10. Have you ever asked yourself, "What's up with Pope Francis?"

Did someone say "cafeteria?"
If you answered at least one question YES, you are a filthy, hypocritical Cafeteria Catholic, just like Nancy Pelosi. If you answered them all YES, you have stumbled upon this blog by mistake. If you answered them all NO... well, you didn't, did you?

Cafeteria Catholic? Come on Patheos guys. Surely, you can mount a better defense of Caserta than name-calling. If not, please at least call us names that fit, or are funny.

Labored irony is just lame.


  1. I definitely dropped the ball at #10. I thought about #9 for a second.

    1. Well, according to the folks over at Patheos, you're a Cafeteria Catholic. For your penance read Pope Francis' 10 Secrets of Happiness and attend a Protestant Wednesday night service.


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