Thursday, October 16, 2014

Pope, Kasper Admit to "Understandable Mistake" About Synod


In a short statement released this evening from the Vatican, Pope Francis said he and Cardinal Kasper thought the synod was going to be a meeting about ABC's hit comedy "Modern Family." Cardinal Kasper said the similarity between "Synod on the Family," and "Sit-com Modern Family," caused an "understandable translation mistake."

The show features three unconventional families, including a lovable homosexual couple with a child.

"I'm sure you can understand why we veered a little off course," a contrite Cardinal Kasper told reporters. "Just forget about the relatio," the Cardinal said with a dismissive gesture, referring to the interim working document that has caused so much controversy among ultra-conservatives who believe Jesus was an actual historical figure who taught important lessons.

Kasper, who has described himself as the show's "number one fan," had a cameo appearance last season as a priest who taught dour, unloving, conservative Catholics in his parish to accept the gay family after one of the men sang a beautiful rendition of "Ave Maria."

In another matter, Cardinal Kasper was reported to have been dismissive of African input to the synod. The Cardinal denied making the statement, but the journalist who broke the story posted audio that he had recorded using his iPhone. Kasper still insisted he had never made the statements, first calling the device "the Devil's music box," then saying "it could be anyone's voice." He said the press has it in for him, and ended with "you won't have Walter Kasper to kick around anymore."

3 comments:

  1. Oh, you bad boy! HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

    GO
    AND
    “DO
    DAT”

    “Your disposition
    Like Inquisition
    You’re mean
    And full of hate.

    Eleventh year
    Been with my dear
    I consider a
    Precious mate.

    Welcome, accept,
    Validate
    Me and my
    Significant cat.

    I am a Cat-lick
    But Jesus Christ?
    Who dat? Who dat?
    Who dat?!”

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very good! Of course, Card Kasper likes the show. There are not Africans in it.

    Hey, do you ever notice that the only neatly dressed person is the liberal victim demographic in a commercial or show? Look. The only non-slacker male is one of the homosexuals. On Psych, the white guy (though the star) is a slob; his black side kick is Mr. Neat and Clean with pressed shirts and ties ( hinting at homosexual). I rail on how our suburban kids in public school dress like slobs, yet urban school kids (often being taught in a Catholic charitable program) are in nice neat uniforms looking pretty spiffy.

    ReplyDelete

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