In a short statement released this evening from the Vatican, Pope Francis said he and Cardinal Kasper thought the synod was going to be a meeting about ABC's hit comedy "Modern Family." Cardinal Kasper said the similarity between "Synod on the Family," and "Sit-com Modern Family," caused an "understandable translation mistake."
The show features three unconventional families, including a lovable homosexual couple with a child.
"I'm sure you can understand why we veered a little off course," a contrite Cardinal Kasper told reporters. "Just forget about the relatio," the Cardinal said with a dismissive gesture, referring to the interim working document that has caused so much controversy among ultra-conservatives who believe Jesus was an actual historical figure who taught important lessons.
Kasper, who has described himself as the show's "number one fan," had a cameo appearance last season as a priest who taught dour, unloving, conservative Catholics in his parish to accept the gay family after one of the men sang a beautiful rendition of "Ave Maria."
In another matter, Cardinal Kasper was reported to have been dismissive of African input to the synod. The Cardinal denied making the statement, but the journalist who broke the story posted audio that he had recorded using his iPhone. Kasper still insisted he had never made the statements, first calling the device "the Devil's music box," then saying "it could be anyone's voice." He said the press has it in for him, and ended with "you won't have Walter Kasper to kick around anymore."