Tuesday, October 25, 2016

What If Bishops Were Married...

"Good morning, dear wife, and how are you today?"

"Fine, sweetheart."

"You know, I've been wondering about our marriage lately."

"Oh really? That sounds rather ominous."

"Oh, no, nothing like that. It's just... the concept. What is, marriage, anyway?"

"We've been married for thirty years. I think we know what marriage is. What are you getting at?"

"Oh, nothing really. But they have polygamy in Africa, I hear."

"What on earth has that to do with us?"

"Nothing, nothing. But still, one wonders. And the gays are getting married everywhere."

"I don't think so much in Africa."

"Perhaps not. But what if we've got this whole marriage thing wrong? I mean one man and one woman for life. Doesn't it seem... I don't know. A bit restrictive?"

"What are you saying? You want to add a younger wife and start a harem, or run off with that young woman with the overbite at the chancery? I'm not sure I like the sound of this."

"No, no, no. I mean, I don't think so. I mean, I'm just rather confused over the whole thing."

"You're confused about... marriage. All of a sudden, the most basic, simple moral rule of life is beyond you?"

"Yes. And whoever said adultery was so bad? I mean, at some point we have to recognize the... the good in irregular relationships."

"Good in adultery. Which is a mortal sin, in case you've forgotten. And has the most serious consequences in this world, I might add."

"Yes, good! Companionship, mutual support, possibly even a child."


"I don't think they're called that anymore."

"I wasn't speaking about the child."

"Well, I was just thinking."

"I wouldn't. It doesn't become you, dear. How would you like your eggs?"

"Eggs. Breakfast. I've been thinking about that."

"Oh, no."

"I mean, why not have soup for breakfast? Call it 'breakfast soup.'" I find breakfast quite confusing."


  1. Are you trying to make a case for married female bishops? I'd take the wife over the husband in this story!

  2. I would not dispute that most women have more commons sense than most men, and what does one say about bishops who seem suddenly bewildered by the basics of human society?

    1. I'd hate to think what a re-make of the movie "The Bishop's Wife" would look like.

  3. Bear, sounds like you confusing this story with your 'Catholic News Briefs From Around the World Newsreel'

  4. Hilarious. You should make this a monthly series - morning conversations between a bishop and his wife.

  5. You do have a way with words Bear!
    ...and the cycle continues...wonder what's next to turn upside down.


Moderation is On.

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