Greetings, fellow Catholics! The Bear officially proclaims February 14, 2015 as Rabbit Day! All able-bodied, married, American Catholics shall devote February 14 to the pursuit of the amorous arts, with the special intention of bringing into the world the priceless resource of children in God's image!
Won't you help us meet our goal of 10 million babies this November? We can do this! If only half the of the baptized Catholic couples in the United States have just one baby, we can easily meet this goal.
If you have never had a baby before, here are some of the benefits you can look forward to:
- fun making them
- buying stuff baby will need (car seat!)
- proudly showing them off in church and at other public places
- posting pictures of them on Facebook
- providing a wealth of cute anecdotes to entertain your friends
- training them to perform useful household tasks
- comparing them favorably to other babies
- taking care of you in your old age
All this, and more, can be yours, absolutely free!*
So, tell your mate, "Let's have 10 million babies!" If he or she protests, "But that's the population of North Carolina," just say, "I know! Isn't that great!"
Isn't that great, indeed.
*"free" does not include incidental baby expenses such as doctors' fees