Monday, June 22, 2015

Hot Women

It was hot at Mass Sunday. The Bear does not know if Father had turned off the AC in compliance with Global Warming Pope Francis' eco-cyclical or not, but it was hot. It was so hot, several ladies had been forced to remove most of their clothes. One poor woman, with babe in arms, was sadly reduced to short shorts and a small piece of cloth that covered her chest, it being secured by some strings in back.

This particular lady was quite fit, as was apparent to all, and had a nice tan. This led the Bear to conclude that she ran for the purpose of exercise. The Bear wondered how she survived the heat of running beneath the summer sun, her being so delicate inside a church.

Fortunately, she was two rows behind us, so the Bear was largely spared the spectacle of her suffering. Meanwhile, the Bear was clothed in thick fur and a tie, yet somehow managed to avoid heat stroke. His mate was attired modestly. Before we left for Mass, she asked, "Do I need a tank top under this?" (She didn't, but the Bear thought it was adorable for her to ask. Modesty is winsome to Bears.)

The homily dwelt on the violence in Charleston. We must respect everyone, no matter their race, religion, national origin or sexual orientation. But most of all, we must enact strict gun control. This was repeated several times. There was something about ecumenism, but the Bear tunes that sort of thing out.

The Bear realized that we didn't hear much about Jesus in homilies, or how to get into Heaven. The Bear supposes we're on our own on the religious stuff.

Surprisingly, there was no mention of Global Warming Pope Francis' eco-cyclical.

11 comments:

  1. 1. Flip hammer.
    2. Pull out nail.
    3. Go to de Sales.
    4. Flip hammer again.
    5. Nail foot to floor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a four hour drive round trip, and the Bear hates to think of the carbon emissions! There's strong, then there's Novus Ordo strong! Besides, the Bear wouldn't need a nail at one of those Traddie churchs, and he would have to come up with a new catchphrase. Branding is so delicate.

      Delete
    2. well, at the very least, I hope you don't put one thin red cent in the collection basket there; plenty of other ways and good causes to count toward tithing.

      And btw....I was expecting a completely different essay judging by the post's title ;)

      Delete
    3. Well, anything to get the people inside the tent, Badger.

      Delete
  2. Ha! And if that's too far join the vanloads making their way weekly to the Log Church. Ok. Six and one half dozen at some point.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have no idea how long it took my current parish to accept a Bear! (Maybe I should have told them I was gay.) Are Traditional Catholics Bear-friendly?

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  3. And..........so it begins, the appeasement of progressive modernism, so lavishly enabled by the Holy Father himself, even if he is blissfully ignorant of his destruction.

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  4. Catholics are on track to shrink to 6% of the U.S. population. Parishes and schools are closing in record numbers. Mass attendance hovers around 23%, if you can believe the inflated polling numbers. Retention among young Catholics, even those confirmed, can only be characterized as grim and deteriorating.

    And this is the kind of thing that gets the attention at some pulpits.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Last I heard, in order to fly to America and lower his carbon footprint, the Pope will shun a jet and instead use the highly starched aerodynamically efficient cornette of Sister Bertrille.

    ReplyDelete

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