Saturday, October 3, 2015

Bearonet of Beesworth, Sir Bear on Synod


The Bear spent a long time with Pablo Fanques' circus in England (and yes, he knows the Hendersons), and was a show bear long before that, often appearing in a top hat and monocle. He would say things like what's below, the English being much broader minded than others about talking bears, viz. Pooh and Paddington. So "the Bearonet of Beesworth, Sir Bear" says:

What if the Synod recognizes gay unions?

"That seems a bit rum, wot? What's going on in my Roman Catholic Church, anyway? We're not going to have to participate in any damned sodomy, like when we're all expected to clap for someone at Mass? Rather beneath my dignity. The church isn't a music hall. I say, those homos had better steer clear!"

As to divorce and remarriage:

"Well, none of that applies to me and the missus. The Bear knows what Jesus said, and he's all for sola scriptura, you know. Nevertheless, he supposes the Church has the power to decide who can receive communion, what with those great bloody keys and all, binding in Heaven and Earth. Still, it all seems a bit shady, doesn't it? Thank God it's all academic to me."

As to the Synod:

"Seems a bit like cheating at cards. The Bear hates to say it, but some of those chaps aren't gentlemen. Especially the huns. Always up to some nasty business. Churchill said 'the hun is always at your throat or at your feet.' Don't know a soul that trusts in an honest synod. And, hope this isn't a sin, but the Holy Father is a bit on the slippery side, don't you think? He's a Jesuit, and an argie. Who thought that combination would make a good pope?"

Msgr. Krzysztof Charamsa's Coming Out Party

"Well, that's a bloody disappointment! The Bear thought those Polacks were straight arrows.   Winged Hussars, Battle of Vienna and what not. Not to mention that fellow who made a capital Pope! Well, I guess there's your Gay Lobby, Pope Francis, under your nose right in the CDF! Was he wearing a name tag? Haw-Haw!"


  1. If any of what the Bear says actually happens it must be rejected and spoken against by courageous clerics, lay folks and most especially The Bear who will do it in a kind and gentle way until that way doesn't work and then watch out. The Bear still has claws.

    1. Michael, when I posted this on my Facebook page (using the convenient button below every story) your comment appeared as the description! Weird, huh?

    2. Those things will happen even if it is not immediately as part of the synod.

  2. A proper British bear would never use the derogatory term "Polack". Whatwith the brave Poles garnering the highest accolades in the Battle of Britain, the Brits would never disparage a whole race because of one cheeky pansie.

    Your schitck needs fine-tuning Bear. Your Americanism is on display.

    1. This is an old act, long before the Battle of Britain, or even WWI, and before "Polack" was an offense term. I doubt a proper British hear would say "homo" today, or call Germans "the hun" either. Of course, the character of "Bearonet of Beesworth, Sir Bear" was a send-up of the self-satisfied minor titled person (a baronet remains a commoner) and was not always a model of decorum. But the house loved him all the more the more outrageous his act became. He was allowed to say things most people would dare say out loud. The Bear is simply transporting today's concerns back to those days when the Bear was the star attraction. He's feeing a bit moth-eaten lately.

  3. Thanks for the historical background. I rather like "Hun" when I think of a destroyer like Cardinal Kasper. Let's keep that one ;)


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