BREAKING -- Synod report out: liberals defeated and conservative bloggers delete thousands of articles announcing the end of the Catholic Church.
The Telegraph. "Synod Verdict: the Catholic Church is still Catholic. Liberals need to back off and traditionalists can calm down. The synod upheld Catholic doctrine and the future rests with orthodoxy." [A+]
The Advocate. "Disappointment, yet hope remains." [Coincidentally, last entry in Hitler's diary.]
The Guardian. "Vatican synod holds it's line on gay couples, but offers new hope to Catholic divorcees." [Church to stop hanging them?]
New York Times. "Vatican splits on rules over a more inclusive Church." [LOL]
The Synod labored and brought forth a mouse, but we shall see. Pope Francis could say, "Oh well, so much for collegiality," and marry two priests in front of the Bernini baldachin in St. Peter's next week. That's what makes being Catholic so exciting!
The Church is like Gotham City, with all the same colorful troublemakers hatching their schemes, but good always manages to triumph in the end. This time, the Joker: Cardinal Kasper with his trademark gap-toothed rictus; Bane: the bald and bulky Cardinal Marx; Poison Ivy: the, well, Fr. Rosica (the Bear is totally not implying that, despite Fr. Rosica's well-known fondness for homosexuals, Fr. Rosica is in drag or is himself a homosexual); The Penguin: Cardinal Cupich; and Catwoman: Cardinal Daneels. (Feel free to add your own.)
And, silhouetted against a full moon, standing atop Gotham Cookie Factory, is the rotund figure of The Bear.
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[This is a reprint of a post from over a year ago that has resurfaced in the readership stats. So the Bear has decided to run it again, es...