Thursday, December 17, 2015

Bear's Circus: Christmas Follies

The Bear's traffic here at the blog is down. Perhaps it is Christmas coming up. There's much to do with family getting together and buying presents and such. So the Bear has decided to provide you with the kind of content you are ONLY going to get right here at SCB. So stay with the Bear for the circus. The way this works is that if you don't like what's going on in one ring, there's always two others.

Chickens in the Christmas Spirit

First, we see that Zoar's own layers, our beautiful Buff Orpingtons, have decorated for the season. It's good to see them carrying on despite losing one of their own to the Dread Fox.



Scrooge Trump Wants to Kill Terrorists' Families

Next, since Mark Shea has quit his blog, the Bear shall take up the slack. SCB patron and regular commenter Michael Dowd (a man whose amazing credentials do honor to SCB) inspired the Bear to watch the GOP debate. The Bear usually doesn't do politics here. Things are depressing enough in the Church. But it came up during the debate that Trump had said he would kill terrorists' families. The Bear guffawed, and waited for The Hair to dispatch that canard. Except he didn't. His reply was, "What they get to kill us and we can't kill them?"

Oh, dear. The Bear is going to go full Mark Shea and take a brave stand against reprisal killing of innocent women and children.

Now, the Bear doubts Trump is serious, and even if he were, he would have to significantly reconfigure this country before he could carry out his threat. But while the Bear appreciates his moving the debate in the right directions, he doesn't want a President who would even float such an idea. (Or one that did not have a clue what the "nuclear triad" is.)

Again, channeling Mark Shea, The Bear is extremely uncomfortable with the GOP's obsession with "regime change." (Note to Ted Cruz: "carpet bombing" went out with WWII. We have precision guided munitions now. No need to thank the Bear.) The more we get rid of Middle Eastern leaders we don't like, the more the crazies fill the vacuum.

You would think we would eventually learn that lesson, but apparently not. Most of them tried to out-do each other on Gulf War III.

They can go it without the Bear Clan this time. Besides it's going to take more than one term to build our military back up and regain any sort of credibility in the world after the joke our president and his clowns have turned us into. (Two terms! One, maybe, but two? Bears just don't get humans.)

We can't change the Middle East. Or, more precisely, we are unwilling to do what it would take to change the Middle East. The best policy is to keep the Middle East and all it's works in the Middle East and not in the West.

Except for oil, of course.

And finally, how about thinking outside of the box and not automatically being a tough guy who's going to "punch Russia in the nose?" (Another irresponsible comment from the GOP debate.) Russia's support of the World's Most Evil Optometrist, Assad, is the right policy if you want to create a firebreak against ISIS. We are supporting the "Good Muslims" (al Qaeda allies) who will bring peace, love and unicorns to Syria if only we can get rid of Assad. Ah, the Bear loves the smell of Arab Spring in the morning. It smells like... dead unicorns.

It's the Crimean War all over again.

OUTRAGE!

Now we must put aside trivial matters such as politics and address the biggest problem facing the West. Something called "NWA" was admitted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The Bear has never heard of them, but understands they are a "rap" group. Do you want to know what did not get in?




Yes! No! The great synth-heavy prog rock band with magical, incomprehensible lyrics sung in Jon Anderson's unforgettable alto tenor was locked out of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Especially since Chris Squire died this year, you would think Yes would have gotten some respect.

Their album 90125 was one of the small collection of CDs the Bear had for his Discman when deployed in the First Gulf War. It was great to put the ear buds in and shut out the whole world, to be back in the West. What the Bear learned was that listening to music to take him back home meant that the same music would later take him back there.

Flashback: Lesbian Mutiny

Not that the Bear had any particularly heroic or dangerous duties during that war. He believes he has already recounted his improbable role in the Great Lesbian Mutiny aboard the mighty U.S.S. Samuel Gompers a.k.a. "The Love Boat" due to the fact that it had a mixed-sex crew. Quite unforeseeably, many of the female crew members became pregnant. Not that that mattered to the Bear's clients. Our side lost upon discovery of an incriminating letter that was, ah, rather explicit.

Oh, how many times has brute evidence ruined a beautiful case for the Bear!

The Bear recalls a brief conversation with the captain. A change of command was coming up and the outgoing captain was most concerned that he rid his ship of lesbians before turning her over to the new skipper. (At least they weren't the ones getting pregnant.) It was quite surreal, as was everything about that war.

Sadly this piece of the Bear's history was sunk in 2003 as part of an exercise. It took 16 Harpoon missiles to do the dismal work. The Bear remembers it at the pier in Manama, Bahrain, dominating the scene like a floating factory. The coalition ships -- British, German, Italian, and Japanese -- looked like toys. Rather touchingly, a Kuwaiti ship of some sort lay aside the pier, too. Like they appreciate it now.

Huge slab-sided factory on the outside,
hotbed of illicit liaisons on the inside.

Anyway, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is unmasked as another failed and subverted Western institution, even if Cheap Trick did get in.

The Grand Finale

Ladies and gentleman, and children of all ages! In the center ring, St. Corbinian's Bear Circus is proud to present, by excluuuusive permission of His Majesty Car-uhl the Fourteenth, Gustaf, King of Sweeeeden, the sensation of Stockholm, The Singing Goats of Sweden!





Merry Christmas, dear readers, and God bless us one and all!

17 comments:

  1. Toad-ally agree with you on Middle East politics Bear. We need those strongmen for now.

    We need at least two more presidents to recover from BO and 10 more popes to recover from JB.

    ReplyDelete
  2. When are your goats going to make a CD?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Little Odo, our youngest, cries a lot when he manages to escape through the fence and forgets how to get back in. But I don't foresee a CD.

      Delete
  3. The Buff Orpingtons are indeed lovely as well as friendly chickens. Please post more chicken pictures. Thanks.

    We had that Yes album when it was new.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One of our Buffies is named "Friendliest Hen in the World."

      Delete
    2. The Buff Orpington roosters I knew revolutionized my view of roosters (good temperament and less abusive). And typically I despise roosters.

      Delete
    3. Our Buffie rooster is a monster. The Shepherdess has to carry a bucket with her to "bucket him" (trap him under it) when she goes out. She has many times come in with blood streaming down her leg or arm after being viciously spurred. He does a pretty good job keeping the hens where they belong, instead of wandering out into open areas where they would be prey to hawks. So we keep him around.

      Delete
  4. I loved that Yes album! Now I'm singing "I get up; I get down." That brought back memories. My big sissy had that album and I used to sneak it away to my room.

    Seattle kim

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Bear is a big prog rock fan, and Yes was always one of his very favorites. He probably likes the Yes Album best. Also they are remembered for the totally cool album covers -- with the exception of The Yes Album, which is awful. Does anyone else miss album art? What you get from iTunes is hardly visible. And how about liner notes with lyrics? The Bear remembers some really clever album covers, most notably Thick as a Brick by Jethro Tull. It included a gag multi-page newspaper! The Bear would almost give up the convenience and ubiquity of iTunes if he could have his old sound system with sweet turntable and his collection of albums. (We do have a record player and some albums just for fun.)

      Delete
  5. Thanks Bear. It is always nice to have a few lighter moments at this time of year.

    This being the time of year for inventory and reflection most of us have much to be thankful. And right now, not the least of which is remembering all the times The Bear has brightened our day and encouraged our faith in his inimitable style. The Bear lives on. Long live the Bear. And may God keep an eye on him be with him always--even when he growls.

    Merry Christmas to all and to all a good day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Mike. The Bear has been quite seriously lately over this abominable new interfaith document. As the Bear has expressed, he believes it completely deranges important dogmas. It obviously got under his skin. So, as Christmas approaches, the Bear will try not to be so growly. Perhaps he will even earn a place in the nativity set: the Bear who lumbered out of the forest to worship the Christ Child on bended knee.

      Delete
  6. I do not expect this to be posted for I have tried to make comments here before and when "the bear sniffed" them, they were moderated out. Nevertheless, the bear wrote:

    -----

     The best policy is to keep the Middle East and all it's works in the Middle East and not in the West.

    Except for oil, of course.

    -----

    First, the US gets most of its oil internally or from Canada, NOT the Middle East. Second, if we developed and expanded nuclear energy full scale, and used nuclear steam and the Fischer-Tropsch process to convert coal into liquid hydrocarbon fuel, we wouldn't need even oil from Canada, let alone the Middle East. Third, in anticipation of the inevitable nuclear isn't safe argument, even including Fukushima (which killed < 12 people outright) and Chernobyl (a mad Soviet design not licenseable in the West) and TMI (which injured and killed no one), nuclear fatality rate is safest of all forms of energy production, including useless, worthless solar and wind. Fourth, in anticipation of the argument about all that spent fuel, can you say "fast neutron burner reactor?" Spent fuel from light water reactors is fuel for fast neutron reactors. We can burn the waste so that it decays away in < 600 years and tell Harry Reid to stick Yucca Mountain where the sun doesn't shine.

    BTW, you are a human lawyer, not a bear. The affectation is humorous I suppose, but really, your claws and fangs are law suits.

    Again, I don't expect this to be posted. Few people understand anything about energy until they flick their light switch and nothing happens. The fact that a 1000 MWe plant requires 2,600,000 tons of coal annually, or 2,000,000 tons of oil annually, or 30 tons of uranium annually is beyond the comprehension of most Americans. They fear the few tons nuclear waste completely sequestered from the environment that can be used as fuel in advanced reactors, but the 100s of millions of tons of coal waste or the 100s of millions of tons of atmospheric pollution from natural gas fired power plants - polluion that never ever decays away - is beyond their intellectual comrehension. I doubt bears understand either.

    Do you want the Musloids to stay in the Middle East? Then have Western Europe and North America go full scale nuclear and tell the Musloids to go drown in their mineral slime.

    PS, yes, I have zero tolerance for stupidity and ignorance. I have worked in nuclear energy for 30+ years. I have been in a sealed submarine next to an operating reactor for months at a time. I still live, breathe, eat, pee and poop. And I am neither lawyer nor bear, being proudly human. And I am proudly a nuclear enegry professional. We are the safest and the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First, the Bear has never moderated any comment from you, to his knowledge, nor does he know why he would.

      The Bear never engaged in mere lawsuits, but has always been a criminal defense lawyer, or occasionally, a prosecutor. He assures you, the Bear is quite real.

      The Bear cannot imagine why you suppose he would object to nuclear energy. Energy independence is essential, and he looks forward to the day when he can run his car on clean, safe, nuclear energy.

      Thank you for your comment,

      Delete
    2. My brother was a nuke! His pee is now green and glows in the dark.

      Seriously though, nuclear power is the best solution, but between liberals thinking it gives puppies two heads and conservatives' love fest with combustion engines, it'll never happen.

      Why the Bear hate? Provoking bears is not wise, especially the Bear. Life is difficult without a jawbone.

      Delete
    3. "PS, yes, I have zero tolerance for stupidity and ignorance."

      Unfortunately you have come to a site that tolerates that kind of thing.

      Delete
    4. Or perhaps "fortunately?" ;-) The Bear is indeed tolerant, and finds humans infinitely amusing. He tries to address human errors, sometimes so subtly you might miss them if you blink.

      Delete
  7. Some people love the Drake. I love the Bear.

    ReplyDelete

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