Monday, February 29, 2016

Hollywood is Arctophobic

Like a couple of other Americans, the Bear tuned in to the annual ritual of backslapping among rich and attractive people with whom he has absolutely nothing in common: The Oscars. Not to see what was going to win Best Picture. Like a movie about intrepid journalists exposing homosexual abuse in the Catholic Church is not going to win the top spot. No, the Bear tuned in for one reason and one reason only.

To see the anonymous Bear from that Bear movie win Best Actor.

Starting with pre-release buzz, it was all about the Bear. The Bear provided the only excitement in a movie otherwise more boring than Cold Mountain. What do you remember? Tom Cruise or whoever dragging himself across snow for six hours, or the Bear's wonderfully ambiguous touching of Russell Crowe's face with his massive paw before leaving him alive? (Although it must be admitted a mature Bear would never make such a rookie mistake.)

The Bear must conclude that Hollywood is arctophobic. Not in a shooting and killing way. Well, actually, yes, in that way, too. So now who has Number One Victim Status, huh? And when was the last time a Bear got a decent role? In the excellent 1988 French movie called "The Bear." It got nominated for one stinking Oscar. Best Editing. Seriously? That's an award people rush in from the kitchen to catch for sure. And it didn't even win. How about Best Foreign Picture? No. "Babette's Feast," which is as plodding as a three-legged pony, won. A Bear showing up would have taken Babette's feast in a different direction, if you catch the Bear's drift.

All the Bear is saying is that Bears need more and better roles. And enough with the stereotypes of growling and rending. Bears are fascinating and complex creatures, especially yours truly. The Bear would totally be up for a major Hollywood motion picture. They could just be coy about CGI and he could even keep his cover.

So, enjoy your Oscar, Christian Bale. You know you stole it. Just hope he doesn't decide to take it back.


  1. You should get an award for finding something amusing in the whole Oscar thing…but there is almost always something, eh? Finding joy is something I need to work at. So much doom and gloom these days, but inner joy even with sorrow is a must.

    1. Humor has always been a part of the Bear's mission statement. Sometimes, as with the recent Twilight Zone-ish story where Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi is preaching eugenics to a torchlit event in St. Peter's square, or the Dear Reinhard series, there is a point.

      Other times, it's just a little fun.

      Humor is risky, because you might flop. But the Bear has a long history of circuses, vaudeville and exhibitions. He is first, last and always, an entertainer. Whether he actually entertains depends, as always, on the audience.

  2. It's not the first time the Oscers have been bearphobic, your friend the Kodiak Bear was shunned despite an outstanding performance in "The Edge" (1997), stalking Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin for 2 hours. And don't forget the lovable bears in Grizzly Adams and Gentle Ben, when's the last time the Academy gave them lifetime achievement awards? Hmmm??
    More boring than Cold Mtn..., yes they turned a great Civil War era book into a snooze-fest, should've brought in a bear.

    1. Maybe Bears ought to stage a protest at the next Academy Awards. But is there a Catholic ephemera award for Best Blog by a Bear? No. The Bear is fine with just being a Bear, one minute joking, the other tearing someone's jawbone off.

  3. Apparently the Bear has a common beef with the Humane Society which has started the Pawscars.

    Per recent article:
    "Can an animal win an Oscar?

    No. Unless you believe and count the first Oscars in 1929. The Hollywood Reporter, and Susan Orlean in her book "Rin Tin Tin: The Life and the Legend," all carry the same account, saying the German shepherd received the most votes for best actor that year. But according to legend, Academy members wanted to ensure the awards were serious and important and decided giving an Oscar to a dog did not serve that end, even though the same dog is usually credited with saving Warner Bros. studios."

    Of course, since the oscars are not particularly serious--at least anymore--they no longer have the justification to exclude animals, esp since much of Hollywood act like them most of the time.

    Now there's an idea! How about a new academy award for industry members that acted/behaved most like an animal that year?

    Bear...dissing Babette's Feast?

  4. My wife and I went to see "Risen" yesterday afternoon.

    What a wonderful movie. Candidly, I cannot remember the last time we went to an actual theater and payed money to see a movie. But, this was worth it.

    An authentic and reverent to the Gospels as I would hope for from a mainstream movie company as this apparently is.

    Joseph Fiennes as the Roman tribune reminds me of why the Romans were such formidable people. Tough, smart, dogged in pursuit of a goal.

    For me, the most remarkable scene is where the Roman tribune finally gets the story from the Roman legionnaire who was left to guard the tomb and was present as a witness on that first Glorious Easter morning. A powerful and emotional scene that, to me, was absolutely riveting.

    newguy sez go see Risen.

  5. I am hearing some good buzz about the film. I am also interested in "The Young Messiah" but only from the trailer and I believe Raymond Arroyo discussed it on EWTN. The film industry knows faith films can hit big but they can't seem to tell the story without politicizing it.

  6. I didn't sense any sort of politicizing in Risen. The POV is wholly from the Tribune's. You accompany him on his search for "reconciling two things that cannot be".

    I will admit to looking very deliberate errors or "liberties" taken with the Gospel. There were a couple that I put in the category of "The Gospel is silent on these..."
    But, there is nothing blasphemous or questionable IMO.

  7. For what it's worth, Bear, I preferred your performance as 'The Griz' in Jeremiah Johnson.


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