To see the anonymous Bear from that Bear movie win Best Actor.
Starting with pre-release buzz, it was all about the Bear. The Bear provided the only excitement in a movie otherwise more boring than Cold Mountain. What do you remember? Tom Cruise or whoever dragging himself across snow for six hours, or the Bear's wonderfully ambiguous touching of Russell Crowe's face with his massive paw before leaving him alive? (Although it must be admitted a mature Bear would never make such a rookie mistake.)
The Bear must conclude that Hollywood is arctophobic. Not in a shooting and killing way. Well, actually, yes, in that way, too. So now who has Number One Victim Status, huh? And when was the last time a Bear got a decent role? In the excellent 1988 French movie called "The Bear." It got nominated for one stinking Oscar. Best Editing. Seriously? That's an award people rush in from the kitchen to catch for sure. And it didn't even win. How about Best Foreign Picture? No. "Babette's Feast," which is as plodding as a three-legged pony, won. A Bear showing up would have taken Babette's feast in a different direction, if you catch the Bear's drift.
All the Bear is saying is that Bears need more and better roles. And enough with the stereotypes of growling and rending. Bears are fascinating and complex creatures, especially yours truly. The Bear would totally be up for a major Hollywood motion picture. They could just be coy about CGI and he could even keep his cover.
So, enjoy your Oscar, Christian Bale. You know you stole it. Just hope he doesn't decide to take it back.