Saturday, February 13, 2016

Pope Discloses Lenten Discipline

On the flight to Cuba, Pope Francis once again broke with precedent by disclosing his Lenten discipline.

The holy Father said that he lives in a shoebox, arises at twelve o'clock at night to lick St. Peter's Square clean with his tongue, then eats his only meal of the day, a handful of cold gravel. After working twelve hours at the mill, a different homeless person each night thrashes him with a belt.

When one reporter observed that the Pope's account sounded remarkably like the classic Monty Python "Four Yorkshiremen" sketch, the pontiff answered, "See? You try to tell people about traditional Argentine Lenten practices today, and they won't believe you."

The reporter tried to follow up, but the Pope impatiently answered, "I did't expect the Spanish Inquisition."

At that point, three men in red hats and robes appeared. Their apparent leader said, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear." At a roll of the eyes and barely perceptible shake of the head by Pope Francis, they left.

The interview was terminated when the pilot requested passengers to fasten their seat belts and remove all the luggage from the bins above their heads and place it in the bins on the other side of the aircraft.


  1. I'm surprised he had a shoebox to live in; that would have been Paradise to us.

    I guess it's because he was Argentine, not Mexican. ;)

  2. The Shoebox of the Fisherman eh, Bear?

    Just as an aside, so sad to learn of Judge Antonin Scalia's death. "...and where Lazarus is poor no longer may he find eternal rest."

  3. Now, we have Pope Francis making a little joke out of lent. I am afraid to ask what he thinks about the Resurrection.

    1. Well, that's the Bear's little joke, unless you've heard of another.


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