Thursday, May 26, 2016

A New Life Awaits You in the Off World Colonies

Dear woodland creatures and guests. While you are frisking among the sun-dappled groves of the civilized Woodlands, you should pause and remember your fellow woodland creatures in the dangerous and faraway colony of Facebook. This howling wilderness does not enjoy the constant protection of the Bear's watchful eye. A handful of brave colonists repel continual attacks by trolls of all types: atheists, Protestants, cultists, ultramonanists, and ursophobes. (Regrettably, we have so far not attracted very high-quality trolls, but they do keep the colonists busy.) Who are these colonists, and why did they undertake such a hazardous and thankless mission?

Some of them are volunteers from the Woodlands. Others are native Facebookers who have been attracted to the colony. But every day, led by brave and indefatigable Captain Ernest, they keep the colony Bear country. And that's important.

Since the Bear founded the Facebook colony, our ranks have doubled, as people respond to shares and links and, yes, advertising. What better use for some salmon than sharing the Bear with a wider audience? The Bear is popping up in more places, and not just Catholic ephemera.

If you want to volunteer for a brief tour in the colony, simply go to the Bear's Facebook page. 

Let the colonists know they're not forgotten by the Woodlands. Whack a troll or two. Like the Bear's page. Ten minutes is all it would take. The Bear would consider it a favor. And it would mean so much to the colonists.

Facebook colonists, the Bear salutes you.



12 comments:

  1. Good luck. I will not register or participate in Facebook as I am seeking different employment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Consider creating a Facebook page that has specific things that you want a prospective employer to know about you. Make sure that those postings are PUBLIC and PREVENT comments. Start this several months before you are going to be sending out resumes. If need be, keep the positing private and then when you actually start looking, switch them to public. They will keep the original date stamps. HR ALWAYS looks at Facebook so create the narrative that you want HR to see. Use the photos section, about section, everything to create the narrative.

      Delete
    2. Fascinating idea! Thanks for the tip. Creating a narrative is how things are done these days, eh?

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    3. Yup. Works for things besides jobs too. If you drop the info onto more than one social site, the better. You don't have to be super productive in creating a narrative, just enough to indicate the type of person that you want to be perceived as.

      Consider it to be an extended part of your interview. It is also important to do this if your name can already be Googled and the stuff out there isn't flattering. Public Facebook, Google +, YouTube, Linkedin, etc. will push other items off the first search page.

      Example: You are going to apply for a job in the banking industry. When you see interesting POSITIVE stories about finances and economics, post them (don't post stories about scams, robberies etc.). Grab a couple TED talks, etc. that show that you are learning. Fill your photo album with photos that indicate that you are trust worthy, hard working, a team player, etc. Fill your movie list with popular movies, a few esoteric but quality, that send a message about stability, achievement, and again, hard work. It is easy to find blogs to make throwaway comments on. Create an Amazon.com account (using your real name) and leave a couple of reviews for products that your image should be associated with.

      5 min now and then and you have a narrative that HR is going to see and find that you are a great fit for the job.

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    4. Wow! Thanks. I suppose no presence on Facebook is a negative since it gives no indication. I have almost no web presence at all. I think some old expert studies I participated in are available out there. So, use Facebook as professional marketing tool. I have a LinkedIn account and profile already.

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    5. and while you are creating a Narrative, you create your own Truth.

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    6. Pete -- Yes. Also depends on your age. You are not really expected to have an online presence if you are over say 45, just to pull a number out of thin air. Better have one if you are 25. UNLESS your job requires security clearances. Then you want to indicate that you are a private person. Have a FB but have it set to private with nothing viable (making nothing viable is a lot of work btw!).

      No online presence is a negative.

      Also, do know what is out there about yourself. Pretend you are HR and want to find out about yourself. Search deep and see what you can find. This will show you what you need to fix, hide, or work to create a different impression.

      Tamsin -- we all wear our masks. Each job requires its own hat and its own role. All the world is a stage, as the bard says. To get the part, one must indicate that they can play the part. HR doesn't care if you actually ARE the part, they just care if you can do it.

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  2. Shame you have to miss the Bear baiting. But the trolls quickly learn the wiley old Bear has seen their type before and can dispatch them while riding on a unicycle. After awhile, the colonists can call in a Bearstrike to make room for new trolls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How do you dispatch trolls on Facebook? (Preferably without needing to ride a unicycle.)

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  3. It is good stuff....almost makes me want to comeback to Facebook. Almost. Keep up with the good work.

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  4. I think I'll just create a Facebook account for my cat and then post. I have 2 jobs and I wish to keep them.

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  5. Isn't this sad that we have to fear loss of livelihood if we say what we think or express our faith online?

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