Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Bear Has Photo-Op With Syrian President

The Bear and Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

This morning the Bear was escorted by his Russian friends, Slava and Kostya to the imposing mountaintop presidential palace of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. Everyone was very nice to the Bear. President al-Assad even insisted that the Bear be checked out at the hospital on the premises. The Bear was provided with the medication he must take to maintain compliance with Fish, Game and Wildlife's Department of Large Talking Predators safety requirements. Although he does not suppose their writ runs in Syria.

The Bear's Arabic is rusty. (Truthfully, non-existent other than a few basics.) However, President al-Assad speaks excellent English.

You just can't get falafel stateside like they have in this part of the world.

The Bear was given a short speech to recite; he supposes the usual polite diplomatic nonsense visiting dignitaries are expected to say. Frankly, the Bear is utterly confounded by all the attention. He is, after all, only a simple Catholic ephemerist. His own government has not shown the least bit of interest in getting the Bear back home. Frankly, the Bear is going from impatient to irritated.

Perhaps the Bear shall pop down to the U.S. embassy tomorrow. The Bear would just book a flight out on a U.S. carrier, but he was in such a hurry to get to Turkey he forgot his passport. Oh bother.

New quarters have been provided. The Bear now has reliable high-speed internet and a military honor guard kindly provided by President al-Assad. And of course, there is the constant companionship of the Bear's friends, Slava and Kostya, who are almost touchingly loyal. It is nice for the Bear to be able to practice his Russian! They call the Bear "Misha," which is rather charming.

The Bear can only imagine that when U.S. government officials see what an excellent good will ambassador the Bear has been, they will be pleased, and expedite his return. However, the Bear has to admit he could get use to Damascus. Everyone is really nice here.

2 comments:

  1. Bear--
    Are you aware there is someone called Bunny Rabbit who has taken over your blog and set on destroying all of your wonderful work of bringing reality back to the Catholic Church. This dreadful rabbit even advocates listening to the "wisdom" of Pope Francis. Bear come home!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Alice asked me to post an update on one of her projects. She’s the foundress of SapR—Scalopi attack pagan Resurgence. They’re starting to get attention:

    Moles threaten Stonehenge

    This is obviously dangerous work—both in combating resurgent paganism and more directly in the work of undermining 40 ton stones. Perhaps if you threw the Bear some salmon he could finance a video on this important work.

    ReplyDelete

Your comment will likely be posted after the Bear snuffles it. Please, no anonymous posts.

Featured Post

You Knew it was Coming (Sponsored by "Venom")

Sponsored by Venom: a New Scent by Francis Venom: "Smell like the sheep..." There comes a moment in the life of every televi...