Sunday, May 15, 2016

The Bear Went Over the Mountain

" see what he could see." Who doesn't know that children's song?

Why did the Bear go over the mountain? Why does the Bear write an ephemeris, and now, dabble in videos? We don't know. The song doesn't hold the answer to either question. Perhaps it is in the nature of Bears to go over mountains.

Yet the song ends on a note of futility. "And all that he could see was the other side of the mountain." As of this article, the Bear has been traveling up and down the same mountain for 1000 posts. Apparently, some people have liked them, for which the Bear is very grateful. The Bear is certain the more perceptive among you have noticed his narcissistic tendencies, and if no one liked his act he would become very dispirited.

A couple of days ago, Pope Francis said something off-the-cuff to some sisters about female deacons. The Bear knows what this is about, but didn't write anything about it because it's another Franciscan tar baby -- a waste of your time and mine. But here. Inside Pope Francis' Head: "I better throw these harridans a bone and escape with my skin before they Wicker Man me."

There aren't going to be female deacons, certainly not ordained ones. And even if there were, the Bear can't do anything about it.

Pope Francis vs. Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashion
The Bear is heartily sick of Francis on this, the occasion of his 1000th post in the three years of this ephemeris' existence. For a long time, Francis being Francis was news. Of those 1000 posts, it's the Pope Francis posts that people want to read. If the Bear wants to increase his audience for a day, all he has to do is put Pope Francis or, oddly, Michael Voris, in the headline. Odd, because they have nothing in common, as far as the Bear can see, other than not criticizing Pope Francis.

The Bear must confess that he has no more interest in Pope Francis than Kim Kardashian. In fact, the Bear has a hard time distinguishing them, since both are annoying people who have an existential horror of going 24 hours without publicity.

Well, there is one thing. Kim Kardashian isn't trying to demolish the Church and driving the woodland creatures to distraction. Thanks for that, Kim. The Bear thinks he could be a fan.

Perhaps the Bear will find Kim Kardashian the next time he trudges over that same stupid mountain. Francis holds neither the Bear's attention nor any mysteries. There were never mysteries, just secrets and schemes. There is really not that much to Jorge Bergoglio. He's a left-wing Latin cleric who wants to buy the world a Coke by shaking down the evil northerners. He's a small man in a big office, like President Obama. Let's be honest. Any sensible Catholic is just running out the clock on him.

What People Want to Read About

Here are the top five posts in this ephemeris' history. Does the Bear consider them his best? Not remotely.
  1. In Cauda Venenum: The Pope's Homily. Easily the biggest post ever, thanks to being featured by Father Z .
  2. Voris to Bloggers: DROP DEAD: when Michael Voris suggested the only people having any  business talking about the Church were theologically trained professional broadcasters with secular experience.
  3. Michael Voris: To the Left of Me, the Church of Nice, to the Right, the Reactionaries. Michael Voris occupies the precise center of balance of the Catholic Church.
  4. The Most Dangerous Man in the World. About "the elderly gentleman from Argentina."
  5. A Frank Talk About Papa. The Bear recognizes a fellow narcissistic personality.

Other Side, but Same Mountain

The Bear has to admit that his chief talent seems to be attacking people in an entertaining fashion. Not much of a surprise, that. No doubt he would have been a big hit in the Roman arena. The problem is he's been doing this for three years and has run out of victims. Believe the Bear, if he keeps attacking someone, that person is dead, dead, dead. Figuratively speaking, in this case. There's an old Bear saying: "When you've torn off all four, there aren't any more." Anyway, an old show Bear knows that three years is a long time for the same act.

The Bear once again finds himself on the other side of the mountain. He realizes that it's still the same mountain no matter how many times he goes over it. He knows every tree and rock, and what's under every rock, too. From the top of the mountain the Bear sees new vistas.


  1. But the battle is existential so you must keep doing what you are doing! Fortitude, man! Oops, make that Fortitude, Bear!

  2. Stay on top of the mountain Bear. We need you there keeping a lookout for signs of hope amid the devastation.

  3. Attacking people in an entertaining fashion is not your chief talent, in my opinion. And since you are somewhat narcissent you know you already know you are pretty much a genius in thought and word. Your expressions bring great clarity OR make me re-think my positions in a way that is sometime hard, but it's truth. Persevere in the mountain-climbing.
    Thank you and Deo gratias.

  4. I remember a little song from my childhood called "Teddybears' Picnic." "If you go into the woods today, you're in for a big surprise." And the surprise was all the Teddies having a picnic! That's my humble recommendation.

    I was having a little talk with my priest this morning. One of the topics we covered was the lack of joy in some Traditional Catholics - I use that label advisedly for lack of a better one. We do tend to become mired. Our joy here on earth should mirror the joy we will have to the fullest in Heaven - unity with God. Forgive me for stating the obvious but there is joy to be found even with the breach in the wall.

    Just from reading around, and my own feelings, I wonder what else there is to say about 'the crisis.' Yet all this is so important. I guess balance is the key - prudence and balance.

    As for you, Dear Bear, there are wonderful things to talk about in our Church as you know better than I - can you 'do a Francis' on Fridays and spend the rest of the week talking to us about some good Catholic stuff? I don't know. I think we can relate to what you say today.

  5. Does this mean you are done blogging?

  6. AND, you ARE helping to save souls by reminding us to slog through the slop..."Nail your foot...
    That, to me, is your chief talent. Never have I met a more clever Bear.

  7. The mountain has been conquered....time for the more adventurous journey into your own soul...

  8. Replies
    1. Polar Bears should be ashamed of themselves. Disgrace creatures lending themselves to global warming propaganda.

  9. The first millennium closes.

    You should write an encyclical for the beginning of the second. Perhaps Secundi Millennii Adveniente. And grant a Jubilee year for the woodland!

    1. I'll just roll up 1000 ephemeris articles into a single encyclical and pepper it with pop-culture footnotes.

  10. "A small man in a big office"... That sums up Bergoglio. Unfortunately, the smaller the man, the bigger the ego, which is why this little man thinks that he is somehow greater than the 2000 years of his predecessors. And also why, as Andrea Torniello pointed out in today's Monday Vatican, the Pope has set himself up with a parallel "Curia" in the Domus Sanctae Marthae and largely carries on his machinations outside of the official apparatus of the Church as institution. But unfortunately, he's masquerading as the head of this institution, so it has an impact on it and people's perceptions of it.

    It probably does get tiresome for the Bear to have to lumber out on the attack time and again, but it's sort of like an early warning system for the rest of us. The Bear sniffs the air...and even though much is hidden and done in secret by Bergoglio, the Bear follows the scent and identifies it. If nothing else, this makes the us feel we're not having olfactory hallucinations.

  11. ...Franciscan tar baby !! Chortle, chortle.. guffer...snots
    Pul-eeze refrain from any further hint about leaving the mountain dear Bear.

  12. "...Franciscan tar baby "...chortle, chortle, guffer, bellow, snots....
    Pul-eeze no more talk of leaving your mountain, dear Bear ❣

  13. I don't know Bear. All I know is that, while I read this one little article of yours, I laughed out loud at least four times, and smiled that many times as well. It's rare, because frankly, not that many people are as funny as I'd like. Not nearly as funny. And certainly not as engaging. You have a gift, there's no doubt about it. You've got something that's hard to pin down, personality? Verbal charisma? Vulnerability? I don't know what it is, but whatever it is, I keep reading your stuff and enjoying it virtually every time. You may think it's throwaway, you're perhaps looking for Hamlet when we're satisfied with Scooby Doo, I don't know. But why do I check in here just about every day? Why does anybody. Part of it is that reading your stuff often taps what at least I am already thinking, and it is tremendously consoling to read such frank commentary, and often in such interesting terms. These are crazy times, and most of us aren't connected to insiders or insider groups. We're on our own out here on the periphery nobody cares about. So it's nice to have a Bear friend who thinks like the squirrels do. We're hurting out here, and yes, the pope (the problem) and Michael Voris (fellow sojourner with a twist) are certainly interesting to us right now.
    What's wrong with being a really funny, really interesting, really sympatico, really smart Bear.
    I couldn't get ten people to regularly read my commentary I bet.


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