"A genre-bending masterpiece of literature. It almost made me want to convert."
- Bashar al-Assad, President of Syria
You know, the Bear is getting kind of irritated.
This Tim Capps fellow is traveling everywhere, making all the late night talk show appearances, and what does the Bear get? As GHOSTWRITER, .00005% of royalties.
Now Bears are not all that good at math, but the Bear is beginning to think his "good friend" has taken advantage of him.
Nobody will buy a book written by a Bear, he said. What about all those articles I wrote for your stupid blog?" he said. You'll scare everyone off at book signings, he said. I'm devastatingly handsome, while you're a bit, well, hairy, he said. And smelly, he said. You have unsavory friends like Bashar al-Assad, he said. You've managed to fight on both sides of every war in the 20th century, he said. You have bad press written all over that adorable face of yours.
Well, any human can write a novel. How many are there available written by a real, live Bear? So at least you, visitors, friends and woodland creatures will know, the Bear actually wrote the book. He sold his chance at literary fame for a mess of salmon pottage.
The Bear can only imagine your shock and outrage.