Monday, July 25, 2016

Madcap Bear Issue 1: "Method to His Madness"

A Clue.
Oh dear. The Bear feels terribly guilty for neglecting the Woodlands. He can only repeat that he is this very day concluding a matter of major cultural importance, indeed, potentially the hinge upon which the West will turn and bar its door to insidious decay.

Really, that's just hype from an old show-Bear. The blog will go on, but only when the Bear is not otherwise occupied literally 24/7.  Sleep? That's what winter's for. Back to the same-old-same-old "What The Pope Did Now." (Is Francis still Pope? That's how busy your Bear has been. Please, someone, say "no.") Hey, not complaining.  "Dance With the One That Brung Ya." The Bear isn't going to get all hoity-toity on you. You can bet there's some good jawbone-rippin' coming your way.

But he does admit to being in a rather frolicsome mood. If he were in a zoo, he would be pounding out the glass with a big rock and laughing at everyone run. In the meantime, he will mercilessly tease you with cryptic comments. Beat your friends. (Actual contest still running - STILL TIME TO BEAT ALL CURRENT ENTRIES ACCORDING TO STATED RULES WHICH ARE NOT TIME-SENSITIVE.)

FILED UNDER: "Method to Bear's Madness."

BTW if you cheat and use Google, no one will know.  Except your guardian angel. Do you really want to run that risk?

1. What do you call it when a redhead flips out?

2. Can an angel deputize you to lawfully exercise angelic authority, including smiting?

3. What is T.S. Eliot's least bad poem?  Seriously, did you really get Ash Wednesday?

4. How many bullets does a Smith and Wesson .38 Chief's Special hold? (come ON, this is serious!)

5. What is William Wordsworth's best poem?  Ode on Intimations of Immortality or She Was a Phantom of Delight? (Sorry, either or; no Daffodils)

6. If you have been cleared to runway 27, do you taxi east or west?

7. Hermann Goering: ace in WWI or WWII? Both?

8. Does "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" ring a bell?

9. Do you think Jake forgot Chinatown?

10. Do clones have the same fingerprints?


END CODED TRANSMISSION FANCY BEAR BUH BYE DIRTY DEBBIE

8 comments:

  1. I am SO gonna beat those other losers (channeling my inner Donald Trump)....

    1) Tuesday (aaaaand also Thursday, Friday and Saturday....aaaand Monday, Wednesday and Sunday every other week)

    2) Indubitably!

    3) This is a trick question...there are none, and no.

    4) at one time?

    5) uhhhhhhhh..... (?)

    6) that completely depends on whether the wind is coming from the north or south....(you are a tricky Bear)

    7) again, tricky Bear question....neither. This is the name of a beloved 60's sitcom character played by Fred Gywnne.

    (MAN!....what does it take to win a good goat???)

    8) NO.

    9) Only if his brother truly was his father.

    10) intriguing.....but the more pressing question is, do they have the same taste in culottes?

    Now a question for you.....
    a) Does a bear still poop in the woods if the pope is no longer Catholic?
    b) Charmin?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, Dear Badger, I admire your honesty, but your are fortunate that someone will come along and educate you about these important things.

    1) Ginger Snaps
    2) I agree with you - in fact I have been, which is very useful for a Bear
    3) hmmm... The Hollow Men, Prufrock, The Wasteland (up to a point); beyond that meh
    4) how do you know how many bullets you have left in a gunfight if you don't know how many you start with?
    5) homework assignment: read both - I've just enriched your life. Start with She Was a Phantom of Delight and really think about the three parts.
    6) not bad, but the wind direction determines the runway... you still have to taxi to the right end!
    7) LOL - you're not the only person I know who didn't know who Hermann Goering was. At least you won't be embarrassed like she was when you learn the answer.
    8) short film available on YouTube... worthwhile
    9) as good an answer as any; I hope you will have the opportunity to learn the secret significance of that question this year.
    10) clones are a tricky lot

    a) fortunately, Bears do not change to keep up with dodgy theology
    b) Yes, I think you are very charmin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hrrummmph....I like mine better.

      Delete
  3. 6). Depends on the configuration of the airport. I know you want to say East, since Runway 27 is aligned at 270 degrees, but theoretically, the ramp could be directly south, north or even to the east of the runway threshold.

    4. Not sure if it's called a "Chief's special" or not, but there is a model that holds 5 in the cylinder.

    2. No. An argument can be made that Angels don't act on their own initiative, but only in accord with God's will. They can announce that GOD has granted you some authority, although as Catholics we'd have an obligation to submit the apparition to Church authority to determine its authenticity.
    The other questions I don't care about.

    ReplyDelete
  4. All of this makes my head hurt. What do you suggest?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Read a nice poem by someone who dies some time ago.

      Delete
  5. 8. Twilight Zone hour long fourth season and I didn't even have to Google it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are more than one version, but Twilight Zone did do one. Good!

      Delete

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