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World's Thinnest Books


You guys are having way too much fun with this still, so Bear is Featuring it. Let's hear some more!

  1. Muslim Contributions to Western Civilization
  2. Pope Francis' Guide to Actual Church Teachings
  3. Archbishop Blase Cupich's Qualifications as Telepathic Psychologist
  4. Church Growth Since Vatican 2
  5. Hillary Clinton's Guide to Computer Security
  6. The Rescue Mission in the Benghazi Attack
  7. Reasons Why We Should Invade Syria and Aid Terrorists
  8. Ways Barack Obama is Superior to Vladimir Putin
  9. Other Religions Cardinal Koch Has Not Sucked Up To
  10. Elements Within the Church George Soros has not Put a Tentacle Into

Comments

  1. 11. New American Revised Standard Edition after being purged of conflicts with the Francis magisterium.

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    Replies
    1. The notes are bad enough as it is.

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    2. The Bear will have to do a review on the relatively new Didache Bible, with which he is pretty impressed. Finally, a one-volume Catholic study Bible. The DR with Challoner's notes is the last the Bear can think of. And you could seriously smite someone with it.

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  2. Ha, good list. #5 made me laugh. I know you only wanted to list the top ten, but here's #11: Biographies of Decent Americans who hate the American flag or the National Anthem,

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  3. BEAR!!

    So when were you going to tell us you were starring in a new Russian "Guardians" movie?

    Guardians English Trailer (2017) Russian Superhero Movie HD

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    Replies
    1. Not very impressed by the CGI Bear. He's just a Bear head stuck on a human body. An abomination. But the movie looks halfway cool.

      Delete
  4. #12. My Post Abdication Retreat from the World by Joseph Ratzinger.

    (Sorry, Papa. I'm bereft.)

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    Replies
    1. Next to the "Mouth from the South," Jorge Bergoglio, B16 looks like Pope St. Pius X. And he does have St. Corbinian's Bear himself on his coat of arms. However, the Bear must admit he was disturbed by some things he wrote. And he was never able to come to terms with the real flaws in V2 docs. He blamed the media. No. The media didn't wreck the Church.

      Delete
  5. This reminds me of an actual book I saw at my parent's lawyer's office: "What Pierre Elliott Trudeau did for Canada."

    It was an impressive thick book with fine leather binding, but if you opened up the book, you'd notice that all the pages were blank. Clearly the author thought that the former prime minister was very showy and spoke and did volumes, but in the end, it all amounted to nothing. A thin book would be far less insulting.

    In this spirit, I'd like to add the following entry:

    Pope Francis' guide to clarity: Just rebind the Voynich manuscript with Pope Francis's picture on it.

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha, yes, the Voynich manuscript to Pope Franics, the perfect analogy.

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  6. How To Win Friends and Influence People:The Mark Shea Edition

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  7. Registry of Remaining North American Altar Boys

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  8. Don't forget that classic tome, "Greatest Jewish Sports Legends."

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    Replies
    1. Boo...

      Sandy Kofax, Ali Raisman! Off the top of my head.

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    2. That's a quote from the movie Airplane.

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  9. Abba and Allah: A Theological, Philosophical, and Sociopolitical Comparison

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  10. Two Peas in a Pod: The Case for Canonizing John XIII and John Paul II Simultaneously

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  11. Roots, Riches, and Rewards: The Timeless Splendor of the Novus Ordo Missae

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  12. On Our Watch: Anti-Amoris Churchmen Speak Out

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  13. The Welcoming Parish: How Being Greeted, Herded, and Hounded Actually Enriches Your Spiritual Experience

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  14. "In Some Cases": An Explanation of Exactly Which Irregular Situations Will Preclude Their Participants From Receiving Holy Communion, According to the Specifications of Footnote 351

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  15. On These Rocks: Scriptural and Historical Foundations of the Bipapal Arrangement

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  16. One Cool Frood: How You Can Tell Pope Francis from Zaphod Beeblebrox When It Comes to Having Two Heads, Surviving the Total Perspective Vortex, and Consuming Too Many Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, Especially In Flight

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  17. OK...just who the heck is "Justina", cause giiiiirlfriend, I wanna start a fanclub.

    Funnnnnny stuff....'specially "On These Rocks" and the Zaphod Beeblebrox allusion. Are you Hilary White undercover?

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  18. Excellent work everyone, but especially Justina. And Badger, there already a fan club. You're looking at it! The Bear trusts Badger and Skunk (did you really assign that Woodland Creatures' name to your husband?) are whetting their appetites for their secret mission.

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    Replies
    1. I am working diligently on said assignment (after returning from a couple weeks on mom duty, and trying to get caught up on my own life, put-on-hold at regular intervals for the foreseeable future), but as you know, it's a rather big assignment. I should have a report for you this weekend, for what it'll be worth.

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    2. Yeah, 171,000 words big :-D I have every confidence in you. Any feedback is valuable. Jane, though, has really taken the bit in her teeth, for which the Bear is grateful. He has already changed a couple of things on her feedback.

      Delete
  19. Profiles in Orthodoxy for a New Millennium: Georgetown, Notre Dame and Boston College Professors Share their Vision

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  20. Haugen and Schutte: Transcendent Hymnody

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  21. Justina has a future in this business. Let's hear more from here. Most impressive. Maybe Mr. Bear could consider letting her do a piece on a subject of her own choosing and publish it here. What about it Bear? Add talent scout to your resume.

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  22. Beyond the Valley of the Dolls: Why Women Deaconesses Are Only The Beginning!

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  23. Airplane! The Amazing Story of How Impromptu Pontiff Chats in the Back of Airplanes Became the Inspiration for a Hit Comedy Film in 1980...35 Years Before the Pontiff Spoke a Word!

    Forward by Surviving Cast Members Kareem Abdul-Jabbar discussing how this brought about his conversion to Islam and by J.J.(Dy-no-mite) Walker who attributes the #Black Lives Matter Movement to what he calls 'this miracle of Pope Francis".

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  24. "Real Catholic Theology": A Surprising Examination of Catholicism as Interpreted by Some of Pope Francis' Most Famous..and Spiritual Guests: Bernie Sanders, Brad Pitt, Apple & Google's CEOs, Tim Cook & Eric Schmidt, Madonna, Oprah & More!

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  25. A New Cuba: A Compilation of Expanded Freedoms, Rights, Rule of Law and Economic Opportunities Since Pope Francis Inspired Lifting the Embargo.

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  26. The Case for Che: Che Guevara, Observant Catholic

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  27. But the Crusades! Get Off Your High Horse and Rid Yourselves of 'Catholic Privilege

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  28. Pope Francis' Book of Favorite Rosaries

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  29. "Playing Fair and Shooting Straight: How to Maintain Objectivity, Transparency, and Orthodoxy in Synod Administration"

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  30. Great Contributors to Catholicism Series: Joseph Cardinal Bernardin

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