Monday, September 19, 2016

WARNING: "London Has Fallen" Review

Die Muslim terrorist scum! I'm an American!


Loud, Violent, Implausible, and Entertaining

The Bear must take pen in paw at this late hour to warn all of his readers about a movie he has just watched. It is disgraceful, dangerous, and the Bear has no idea how it even got produced in this day and age. The Bear has already cancelled his Netflix subscription and sent a tartly worded email.

(Please do read his story about the Titanic, though. It means so much to an old Bear when people listen to his stories. If you're over 40, you'll know what he means. And the Bear is over 1300. Maybe leave a comment so the Bear will smile when he next checks in. Sniff.)

It seems silly to give a SPOILER warning for a movie like this, but, okay. Don't read if you're dim enough to be surprised by anything in a movie involving a terrorist attack on London. (Actually, there is one surprise, and a  big one, but it doesn't count. The Bear will get to it in a moment.) Trust the Bear. Everything is telegraphed.

The movie in question, as you already know from the headline, is "London Has Fallen," a 2016 film available on Netflix. "London Has Fallen" is a special-effects laden action thriller about a crippling terrorist attack on London during a Prime Minister's funeral. The target: all world leaders and some recognizable landmarks. 

The President of the United States and his trusty chief of security survive numerous attacks, including an impressive sequence involving Marine One, Two and Three. Eventually, they are alone in a London crawling with thousands of terrorists. From then on, it looks like a first-person shooter most of the time, but it's loud, violent and implausible. Perfect Bear entertainment. Best line: after the bodyguard stabs one of the Muslim terrorists, the President asks him if it was necessary. "Not really," is the answer. Yuck, yuck, huh? That is the level of dialogue throughout.

There's a good-looking brunette British secret agent that figures out who the mole is at the end. (The Bear had already solved this mystery the first time he saw a wide shot of British intelligence control center. When there's only one white male of any rank there, you kind of figure he's the guy.)  

Perpetuating Islamophobia

So much for the entertainment value, which is considerable, if dumb. So, Bear, what's so horrible about "London Has Fallen?"

The terrorists are Muslim. Swarthy, big-nosed, bearded, Arabic-speaking Muslims. All of them. They're not even some kind of front for Neo-Nazis, or a cabal of evil corporations. They are real Muslim terrorists. Now is not the time to be pushing harmful stereotypes about some supposed link between Islam and terrorism. Just to show the lengths to which the makers of this movie went, at one point one of the main Muslim terrorists actually threatens to cut off a Very Important Person's head with a sword. Live on the internet.

Granted the filmmakers threw out some moral window dressing as an afterthought. The Muslim terrorist mastermind's daughter was killed in a drone strike. One of his sons got his legs blown off in the same strike. (He can participate in the big attack only by working a laptop; and the President actually makes fun of this differently-abled Muslim terrorist!). So, yeah, the guy's got his reasons to turn London into Fallujah. Sure, you can kind of see his point, right?

Also, the main bad Muslim does not seem to be ideologically motivated at the beginning. He's just a guy who happens to be Muslim, who makes a nice living selling arms to perpetuate his profits. (Pope Francis had this exactly right.)

But other than that, every time a Muslim terrorist tries to draw some moral equivalence, some smart-aleck American slaps him down. Time and time again, the Bear would be nodding when one of the terrorists was justifying himself, only to be shocked by an American being very insensitive, and not admitting our own country's responsibility. Would it have killed them to have the President say, "Yes, Ahmed, I see you have a valid point. We are at least as guilty as you. Thank you. Before you cut my head off, could I make a brief statement about tolerance and the peacefulness of Islam?"

So, while entertaining, if you like this sort of movie, the message is Islamophobic to the extreme. Speaking of Islamophobic, the Bear must complain to somebody, because "Islamophobic" is not recognized as a word by the spell-check!

20 comments:

  1. Are suggesting that this movie is not a must see?

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    Replies
    1. Weirdly, the director is an Iranian refugee in Sweden.

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  2. I wasn't expecting the Best Movie of the Year with this one. But I found it to be even more entertaining than I guessed it'd be. Yes, I liked this movie. Totally entertaining. Non-PC. And Gerard Butler and Aaron Eckhart in the leading "good guys" roles. Not only a must see (for those who like this type of movie) but even a "will watch again" movie.

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  3. Yes. It was entertaining, albeit completely predictable and sometimes a bit silly. And the more I think about it, the completely non-ideological Muslim terrorists were a bit of a cop-out, although probably the best we can expect. The filmmakers knew what they needed to do to satisfy their audience. I, too, was expected a B movie. But the CGI was some of the best I've seen, and the action never stopped.

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  4. BTW, when everyone from the bobbies to the Buckingham palace guards in Bearskin hats (boo) are so many of them non-African dark complected chaps, I could not help but think, "No wonder they can't tell the good guys from the infiltrators."

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  5. Is this the same fella who shouts? "This is Sparta!" in a loud and aggressive manner to some dark skinned "persian" fellas in another movie? If so, well... I'm IN!

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    Replies
    1. I don't think so, but if there was a well, and a Muslim terrorist was standing in front of it, Banning would definitely kick him down the hole. But first he would call the Muslim terrorist's mom on his cell phone and have her listen to him stabbing her son almost to death.

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  6. @newguy40: Yes, I think it's the same guy. I haven't seen the movie "300", but the actor was Gerard Butler in that lead role also. I really like him as an actor and director. Maybe someday I'll check out "300". Thanks for bringing it up.

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    Replies
    1. I thought so! I like him too. 300 is pretty good. A couple rather smutty scenes and definitely not suitable for children, though.

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  7. He looks really ... different. Anyway, a fun way to spend a couple of hours, as long as you aren't suffering from PTSD.

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  8. @newguy: I might give it a try but it might be more of a guy-movie than is my usual fare. Then again, you never know.

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    Replies
    1. It is non-stop mayhem with automatic weapons, semi-automatic pistols, grenades, thermite grenades, RPGs, Stinger missiles, swords, knives, cars, etc. etc. If that sounds like it might appeal to you, then go for it.

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    2. Bear: Are you referring to "London..." or to the other Gerard Butler movie that newguy was asking about? I've seen "London Has Fallen" and thought it great fun. The other movie that newguy's talking about, "300", I'm guessing is too much of a guy's movie for me.

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    3. The only Gerard Butler film I have seen ever is Phantom of the Opera, in which Gerard Butler plays the Phantom, and he is excellent in it. A hopelessly romantic chick flick, I give it two enthusiastic thumbs up.

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    4. Thanks for recommendation, kathleen. I haven't seen that one yet. Now I will.

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  9. Is Pope Francis in the movie, and if so does he invite the terrorists to emigrate to Vatican City? Does he get his head chopped off after he invites all the terrorists over for ice cream?

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    Replies
    1. This looks to be a franchise now. First the White House (Olympus Down), then Londinistan (London Has Fallen) - the third film will be Buenos Aires Jones and the Last Jihad.

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    2. Hahahahaha! I can picture PF with a white fedora and a whip made out of spaghetti.

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    3. Yeah, I have been neglecting my phamous photoshopped agitprop while I beat the last four chapters of Judging Angels into submission. I think a movie poster of that would be great.

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  10. Red Death just watched it and liked it. Her comment was that guy's as crazy as we are.

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