Saturday, December 24, 2016

Pope Grinch

Pope Grinch

“Christmas is approaching: There will be lights, parties, lighted Christmas trees and manger scenes. … It’s all a charade.” - Pope Francis  (Caution, barf alert.) You see, Francis hates Christmas because there's still war and stuff, and LGBT lives matter.

Unlike evil Donald Trump who is in favor of celebrating Christmas.

So, the Bear joins Francis the Merciful in urging all of you to drag those Christmas trees out, colored lights and all, and destroy them in some way that will not increase your carbon footprint. Rip the glittering strings from your eves, and give your kids' presents to refugees. Dump your manger scene in the nearest lake, and mail your Christmas meal to hungry fighters in ISIS controlled territory.

Just Try to Take My Tree Away.
Sit in the dark on Christmas Eve, with ashes on your head and sackcloth on your body and lament. Oh, but don't forget that nice donation to the Church.

Because, for the first time in history, the world is not perfect. Francis has inexplicably failed to bring about peace on earth, no matter how many apologies he issues, or lies he tells.

O woe! How could we have been so blind to celebrate the birth of Our Savior when the earth may or may not be warming, Or cooling. Or something. How fortunate we are to live in the age of Francis.

On the other hand, Francis is an idiot. So forget all of his Seventh Day Adventist railing against Christmas. Instead, follow the example of someone infinitely wiser: the Bear's cat, Xander.


  1. Hear, hear! Merry Christmas, Bear, to you and your family, especially Xander, from my wife and me and our equally calm and collected feline, Charlie.

    I was unable to force myself to read much of that puke-worthy column you linked to, but of course anything in the WaPo these days is even more toxic than it has been for the past thirty or so years. Or maybe fifty. Let's pray for conversion of their tiny little hate-filled hearts.

  2. Merry Christmas Bear!! May the Christ Child bless you and yours most abundantly! I won't allow Francis grinch to ruin MY Christmas......have to let his 'tidings of joy' go in one ear and OUT the other! Let him wallow in his own excrement if he wants to.

  3. I read this aloud and we enjoyed it so much!
    We have no cat so no one to perch in our tree and defy anyone to touch it, but we are going to enjoy Christmas in spite of both Grinches. Merry Christmas Bear to you all yours, and to all!
    May 2017 be the year of the formal correction.

  4. A very Merry and Heartfelt Christmas unto you and yours.

    There are many who do not know the meaning of Christmas. It will forever sit there and confuse and confound them and they will puzzle and puzzle and get all the more cross so they will spout and spew all sorts of noise and gas.

    But tonight, in these dark hours of the night, the Messiah was born. So let us celebrate with Bear and be of good cheer ,for Christ is born!

  5. Merry Christmas Bear to you and those you care for and those who care you. Let's hope the 2017 brings you good success in all you do.

    PS: Our Bishop said our Mass this morning and, thanks be to God, did not mention Pope Francis once. Just as PF casts a cold eye on Christmas so he does also at being a serious minded Catholic or even a Christian.

  6. From a commentor at Fr. Z's blog, sung to the tune of "You're a Mean one, Mr. Grinch"....

    You’re a mean one, Mr. Pope.
    It’s shocking but it’s true.
    You mock the young and faithful.
    You make your Cardinals blue.
    Mr. Pope.
    You’re worse than a really bad case of Spanish Flu.

    You’re a mean one, Mr. Pope.
    You fired your own chief guard.
    You did it right before Christmas.
    Now there’s a heart that’s hard.
    Mr. Pope.
    At this point, I’m won’t be sending you a Christmas card.

    You’re a mean one, Mr. Pope.
    The faithful don’t trust your smile.
    You love atheists and muslims.
    And communists by the pile.
    Mr. Pope.
    If you were a piece of paper I’d put you under “grinch-y” when it came time for me to file.

    You’re a mean one, Mr. Pope.
    Although you claim to be sweet.
    But when the faithful ask you a question,
    You grind them under your feet.
    Mr. Pope.
    How is it you can’t answer five “yes or no” dubia, but you can still find time to Tweet?

    You’re a mean one, Mr. Pope.
    Of marriage you’re no friend.
    You make excuses for adultery.
    But you know that’s not where it ends.
    Mr. Pope.
    I think you should be very worried that people think Cardinal Kasper is your very best friend.

    You’re a mean one, Mr. Pope.
    I’d be careful if I were you.
    Trying to change Church teaching
    Is not something you really should do.
    Mr. Pope.
    You really should take some time and go back and read the writings of JP2!

  7. Happy Christmas to you and yours, Bear. I wish you a prosperous New Year notwithstanding Obama having just stealthily signed the Orwellian "Countering Disinformation and Propaganda Act" into law.

    I have to wonder if preaching Jesus Christ is the Son of God is now classified as 'fake news' in the absence of irrefutable and independently verifiable facts? Snopes or nopes.

    See you in the dock. JMJ


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