Sunday, January 1, 2017

JA Submitted in 2016: Note To Volunteer Readers

JA is finished and submitted. You'll all be glad to know you won't be hearing about it anymore. Until Judging Angels the Movie, with an All-Bear Cast. And the Bear can get on his bicycle and start pedaling around juggling copies of Amorous Laetitia. (Did you know "Laetitia" is the name of a symbol in the Medieval occult divination system called Geomancy? Coincidence?)

The Bear still needs your input though. Previous beta readers welcome - skim until you get to new stuff, but it is very, very different. The Bear isn't sure what the mail link does, but it apparently does not send him an email from which he can extract your address. So if you have emailed a response, to the previous request, you're going to have to do it again, and a little different.

In order to get in on this good deal, you're going to have to send the Bear an actual email to:

st.corbinians.bear@gmail.com

I will give you the link to Dropbox, and you can take it from there.

You can enjoy all wry 46 chapters, 162,000 words, from A Day of Very Last Things, all the way up to the shocking and surprising climax covered by The Sweet Metallic Tang of Blood, A Murder of Crows, and, finally, Stone Cold Killer in a Zebra Suit. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll say, "What the...?"

You'll learn all sorts of practical lessons you can use in your everyday life, too. Like how to avoid demons, what a brush ax is (and can do), the rate of fire of a Remington 870 pump shotgun (hint: way faster than you think), how fingerprints and DNA work in the forensics lab, and how chain of custody is maintained on evidence, what to expect in your next police interrogation and why you should never, ever allow yourself to be interrogated, why you shouldn't trust crows, what government agency is in charge of supernatural incursions (you'll never guess in a million years, but then you'll go, "okay, that still makes no sense at all") and why Romanian is the lingua franca in Hell. (Maybe some of you might want to start brushing up, hmm?) That last actually makes perfect sense.

If C.S. Lewis' Space Trilogy were funny, it would be sort of like this. Sort of Catholic Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Dean Koontz - ish.  The Bear wanted the tagline, "Even Funnier Than the Brothers Karamazov," but for some reason the Publisher said, "No." Even so... the Bear will just say it: it is. And much more exciting.

All you have to do is tell me how you liked it. No tedious proofreading. Just, "yeah, I liked it, I think it worked," or, "what the Hell were you thinking, Bear?" Of course, suggestions and comments appreciated.

What a deal, huh?

Ciao peeps. Told you all this was a 2016 project. Oh, and Happy New Year! 

3 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Is that Romanian? It would be too much to hope that you actually know that language, I suppose.

      Delete
    2. Ha, "well done and Happy New Year!!!", via google translate, alas I do not know Romanian! Hopefully there'll be plenty of time to learn it in the future, or, ahhh, maybe not 'hopefully'.

      Delete

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