Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Let the Woodland Creatures Rampage to Aleteia

You know that moment when you realize the Pope isn't one of us?

First all, don't miss the Bear's outrageously provocative, but dead-on, article directly below this one. You'll be happy to know that, with Judging Angels off to the publisher, and 6000 words into the sequel, the Bear is back in the Woodlands, and has lost none of his Bearishness.

The Bear is certain you remember this horrific, but emblematic, picture from Pope Video One. Aleteia posted it with a story entitled: Stunning: Pope's Powerful New Video Initiative Packs a Prayerful Punch

Stunning: Barrister Bear's Beastly New Barrage of Blows Blasts Ecclesiastical Baboonery. Because there's no such thing as too much alliteration.

The Bear will agree that the naked display of syncretism / indifferentism was stunning, all right. He read the article three times, however, and must report that somebody actually thought this was stunning in a good way, like Ginger Rogers in her infamous feathered dress in Top Hat stunning.

The Bear was vaguely aware of the website Aleteia, but it smelled like sulphur, even at a distance, so he never went near the place. But tonight, he got lost and wandered into the swamp. What he found was a truly - how can the Bear put this delicately - an embarrassingly gushing article displaying spasms of intense pleasure at the first, and worst, of the Pope Videos that have been regularly lampooned by the Bear and the Hound. who, between us, have had the best commentary, if the Bear may say so, on these ridiculous and poorly produced non-Catholic commercials for Niceness.

Pope Francis is just so dreamy!

The Bear left a comment here, and were a number of woodland creatures to descend upon their comment section, it would be hilarious. The Bear knows what sharp little teeth you have, my pretties. He can't imagine a more worthy target than the fatuous writers at that gin joint. Your Bear has led the way, and invites you to follow with all the holy glee you possess. Who knows, this could become a regular thing.

10 comments:

  1. That article is a year old.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they are still allowing commenting on a year old article speaks volumes. If you run any sort of blog, you have to lock comments after articles reach a certain age. Things grow on old unlocked articles (no offence Great Bear...I fully support this endeavor).

      Delete
    2. You are wise not to question the Bear's strategy, Lurker Without a Totem Animal.

      Delete
    3. I am not an animal but a bird...I am The Owl. My picture must not be displaying for you.

      Delete
    4. It is. The Bear has been away too long. It is a grave lapse to forget his beloved woodland creatures.

      Delete
  2. Exactly. Hit them where they least expect it! You are clearly not a master of military strategy. "They'll never attack through the Ardennes!" Ha! Besides, search engines are timeless. Trash is trash, and is no less trash for being... a year old. Once we've honed our skills, we'll go for the current articles. I got this all figured out, see.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Pfoo, pfoo

    (sound of me blowing smoke from my dual-wield Smith and Wesson revolvers)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Woodlands Militia are a contrary bunch, but what do you expect from a bunch of animals? Thanks!

      Delete
  4. just seeing that picture again made me vomit a little bit in my mouth.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wash it out with today's piece. You'll like it.

    ReplyDelete

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