Perhaps what is most disappointing about the Synod on the Family is how inept the villains are. The Bear wants menacing, pointy-beard-stroking Jesuitical geniuses from the Black Legend dandling their pet tarantulas on their knees as they spin their plots. (Pyrates by the late, great George MacDonald Fraser, better known for his Flashman books, is a rollicking great example of how evil Catholics should act.)
These guys are more like Cardinal Fang and the other Monty Python inquisitors.
Pope Francis has formed the greatest Argentine-German conspiracy since the rat lines at the end of WWII, and how does his Teutonic genius answer criticism from African prelates? When we want Sambo's opinion we'll ask for it. (Nothing could make homosexuals' top peg on the sensitivity totem pole clearer than the absence of voices crying out for Kasper's head on a platter.) Well, Cardinal, at the rate you're going, Catholicism will still be going strong in Africa long after the last Mass is said in Germany (sometime next week, the Bear hears). The Bear can't help but think if the Germans, not the Africans, had been shoved to the back of the bus, this would be a much saner synod.
The prelates fielding reporters' questions for the most part looked like a line-up of Obama press secretaries. Arrogant, evasive and mendacious. And for Pete's sake, is it too much to ask that they manage things so you can't actually see Pope Francis manipulating the strings from the overhead platform?
Speaking of Francis, the Most Humble, the most Compassionate, the Most Merciful -- another year and he's going to have more titles than Allah -- there are reports he is passing notes -- passing notes -- to the show runners during the synod. Could we at least try, gentlemen? Black rats with little pouches could scurry across the floor and climb up some cardinal's leg. Or a large spider could lower itself right in front of his nose, bearing a message. Heck, even a sinister masked figure would at least be an effort.
Funny how all those things Pope Francis has said, starting five minutes after becoming Pope, seem reflected in this document no one seems to know who wrote. Could we be more transparent? What happened to Jesuitical subtlety? Of course Pope Francis wrote the Relatio, no matter which hand puppets get shoved in front of the cameras. We know the bishops didn't even get a chance to see it, so do you really think it doesn't contain a jot or tittle that Pope Francis didn't want?
The Bear calls BS on the whole thing. (That is Bear Suspicion.)
"Make a mess." Now there's some sound, spiritual advice, because if there's one thing religious people like, it is buffoons screwing around with what they hold most dear. So, here's our mess. In the end, these are all settled topics, and few are unable to determine the truth. To the extent sins are committed in reliance on the synod, the clerics will share the guilt.
I'd much rather be called to account for poking a little fun at wickedness in high places than encouraging sins that cry out to heaven.
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