Friday, January 23, 2015

Night of the Lepus

The Bear always tells his mate not to start a story by saying, "I have a funny story." Reduce expectations. Lay a mattress. Advertising is the quickest way to kill a joke.

Nonetheless, the Bear has a funny story to tell. Not one that will cause you to LOL, but might elicit a smirk at the irony.

(Don't miss the little video at the end. Is it possible that was the in-flight movie? It would explain a lot. You will LOL at it.)

During his recent dry spell in blogging, the Bear read much about the evils of speaking ill of another. (The book of James should bother bloggers as much as it does Protestants.) He had decided that he would swear off writing about the Pope, no matter what. He had in mind a lengthy justification for this, one that he would write the very next day.

That night the Bear was awakened by his mate telling him, "The Pope said Catholics shouldn't breed like rabbits!" It was hours before the Bear was able to get back to sleep as fragments of possible blog posts coruscated in his brain. So, for better or worse, at least the news jolted the Bear back to life, like Frankenstein's monster. All of his pious, carefully reasoned arguments for being less bearish went up in a crackling blue flash and sulfurous smoke.

The Bear Must Be the Bear

The Bear has a half-baked theory that God expresses parts of His infinite nature through the variety of finite creatures. Not in a pantheistic way, just that you go to God in the way only you can, responding to life as it comes to you. The Bear reflects certain qualities of God as only he can.

The Bear truly cherishes the Church, as do his readers. His love for his family is only exceeded by his love for God. There are times when this Pope demonstrates neither understanding nor fear of God, nor respect for His Church. His comment was ignorant and crass.

The Bear isn't sure what's going on, but something is rotten in the state of the Vatican.

What facet of God does a Bear express? His fierceness. It would be unnatural for the Bear to avoid controversy, to muzzle himself and be always a teddy bear. This is the only blog the Bear can write, as far as he can see. It necessarily requires a mordant sense of humor.

Walking Back the Rabbits

The Pope has walked back his rabbits comment. The Bear is unimpressed. He suspects the Pope did so because it made him look foolish. It just invites jokes. It also demonstrates his ignorance of demographics. The West is circling the drain because couples aren't having enough babies. It is not a stretch to link the Muslim invasion of Europe to the requirement to import cheap labor for their doomed socialist paradise. Please, Dear God, do not permit the Church to be embarrassed by the upcoming Ecocylical prattling on about overpopulation.

TV shows sometimes jump the shark. Let's hope Pope Francis jumped the rabbit. It sounds terrible, but the less credibility he has, the better, until he starts sounding like a Catholic pope.

And you, my friends, are reading a very different blog than you would have been reading before The Night of the Lepus.


  1. Well, have we not all been speaking about feeling like we're disappearing further and further down the rabbit hole every day? :-)

  2. THE

    “He said he chided her…”

    Not to the boys
    Who do their own schtick.
    Not to the girls
    Who call themselves Rick.

    Not to the men
    Who cut off heads quick.
    Not to the Extra
    Ministers’ clique.

    Not to the gals
    On their buses so slick.
    Not to the spouses –
    Find new lips to lick.

    Not to the Prelates
    Preaching heresy thick.
    Not to the kinky
    In lust for a kick.

    But give me the mother
    With child number eight –
    She, I’ll chastise,
    She, I’ll berate,

    Then brag to reporters
    How I admonish sins great –
    A mother and child,

    1. When this sort of thing comes up, I always think, "Which of my kids would I do without?" The answer, of course, is none of them. It is ironic to lament the evils of capitalism in dehumanizing people, and be unable to see past a number when it comes to a baby.

  3. Please don't leave us again Bear.
    We need your strength to make it through the dark and lonely woods.

    The Rabbits

    1. Thank you for the kind words. It is in the nature of Bears to occasionally wander off, usually on account of distemper, occasionally on Bear business. The Bear will do his very best to be reliable, but sometimes it is beyond his power.

  4. I love the new Bear and his bunny rabbit picture!


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