Saturday, February 7, 2015

The Single Most Important Thing You Should Know About Global Warming

 UPDATE: Just a bit more about charity vs. super-state programs.

No normal person can read through the reams of global warming documents littering the political landscape. The healthy mind simply freezes. It would be as if one were required to actually read and understand the EULA for a new computer program before ticking that "accept" box. By now, the Bear could have sold his firstborn a hundred times over without knowing it.

Everyone will say they have read Pope Francis' upcoming Ecocyclical, but everyone will lie. It will be the first encyclical ever written that no one will read. He is famously opaque once he ventures beyond sound bytes or three-point homilies. When he dives into global super-state jargon and climate apocalypse fever dreams, it will be Katie bar the door, as the Bear's old dad used to say.

What it all comes down to is a global power grab to change the world's economy. Global warmers hardly ever talk about climate without also launching into their real motivation: economics. The rhetorical link is that "climate change has the greatest impact among the most vulnerable among us." You've seen similar headlines like this: "Sun to Go Supernova! Women and Minorities Affected Most!"

Pope Francis' encyclical will no doubt make this connection. The science -- among the global warmers -- is a given. The real business is how to use this catastrophe to get into other people's pockets. If the encyclical does not contain the words "protect the most vulnerable among us," the Bear will eat his hat. By very crude sleight of hand, the Pope will turn this manufactured climate threat into the same old shake-down used by everyone who has power but no understanding how money is actually made. The real crisis is global pickpocketing.

And here's another thing. The Bear has the idea that God wants you to help the poor at least as much as he wants the poor to be helped. Trust the Bear, this makes sense, even if you have to let it sink in. Poverty as an opportunity to see love in action. It is more than finding some redistributive mechanism imposed by the super-state to fill bellies. The Bear believes we should all do what we can. This is different from being forced to give what people with guns demand. (That would be the government, in case the Bear was insufficiently clear.)

Also, the United Nations Executive Secretary for Climate Change is alien queen Beltra from the planet Algaenoid. Here is proof:

Queen Beltra, UN Executive Secretary for Climate Change

Connie Francis, recording star, possibly body-snatched by aliens
It's also possible that Queen Beltra has indeed snatched Connie Francis' body. (Thanks to our Nightingale, Jane; see comments.)


  1. Yikes! It's as if the character played by Connie Francis in "Where the Boys Are" morphed into an avenging zombie. Spring Break is over, Earthlings. Resistance is futile.

  2. This picture gives the Bear nightmares!

  3. Queen Beltra looks like a meanie feminist.

    And the only thing we really need to know about GW is that it's false. More stories of altered/fabricated data are out today. See Drudge.

    1. She's rocking that Ming the Merciless outfit, huh?

      I wish you were right about only needing to know it is false. That doesn't seem to stop false ideas from polluting the psychosphere. (Is that a word? If not it is now!)


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