You see, Benning was a southerner, and actually fought beneath the racist Confederate Battle Flag in some of the Civil War's most famous battles. He was a brave and effective general.
Henry L. Benning also used rhetoric about blacks that few white men of the day, south or north, would blush at. (The Bear is fairly certain he didn't dismiss everyone who disagreed with him as "haters," and "racists" but if anyone did, it was probably Henry L. Benning. His nickname was"Old Rock," not "Miss Buttermouth.")
The Bear happened to see another story today. It described American Army morale as "rock bottom," with about half the soldiers in an Army report dissatisfied. Perhaps re-naming Army bases would help. His own poll of currently serving soldiers in his family would indicate 100% opposition, but a sample size of two is admittedly low.
So if Benning has to go, there are a number of ways to handle it. The most obvious is to simply substitute the Evil White Southerners with the Good Guys.
- Ft. Benning --> Ft. Grant
- Ft. Bragg --> Ft. McClellen (and 82nd Airborne unit patch changed to a rainbow, because rainbows are in the sky)
- Ft. Hood --> Ft. Sherman
- Ft. Stewart --> Ft. Sheridan (Stewart was a Revolutionary War general, not Civil War, but lived in Georgia and probably had slaves)
Or, since nobody today will recognize "Grant" or "Sherman" anyway, let's start a new, positive tradition.
Our infantry can train at Ft. Friendship instead of Ft. Benning. Our paratroopers will be in Ft. Unicorn. Our tankers in Ft. Happy Butt, and so forth.
Why, the Bear envisions California-sized chunks of American heritage sliding down the memory hole in only a few weeks.
Really, there's only one problem. Running to a Kumbaya cadence just doesn't work. On the other hand, why not just have everybody do yoga?