Sunday, May 8, 2016

Bear Beats Pope Videos

Beaten by a Talking Bear

Pope Francis Cannot Compete With the Bear

The Bear has recently had way too much fun with the Pope Videos. The truth is they are not exactly going viral. In fact, the Bear would not be surprised if more people go out of curiosity and outrage than to be inspired. (h/t reader LB.)

Last month there were more views of this ephemeris than of the Pope Video.

That's right. One Bear's slapdash articles, clowning around and agitprop beat the big budget, professionally produced Jesuit-Jewish-Islamic-Evangelical-Feminist-Tree-Hugger Pope Videos. And not the Bear alone, but he is certain many, many sound Catholic ephemera of all kinds are beating the Pope Videos.

Why? First of all, we don't produce garbage. Second, the Pope Video people produce garbage. It's really very simple. They're bland, formulaic, and not Catholic (which is hardly a surprise given the interfaith editorial board.) They are Pope Francis distilled into a few minutes of propaganda. In short, people have no reason to go and watch them.

An old show-Bear knows you've got to have a draw to fill the house.

Simple: We Have a Bear, Pope Francis Doesn't

The Pope is really disadvantaged in that he does not have a talking Bear and we do. And he never will. In fact, he has no animals at all, unless you count vipers. His show is more of a -- and the Bear means this in the most respectful way -- what we used to regrettably call, in less enlightened days, a "freak show." You pay your quarter for the guilty pleasure of seeing something disturbing.

But that's all he's got. That, and bad agitprop videos that give no one a reason to watch, except to make sport of. People will not willingly seek out a video indistinguishable in tone and technique from an antidepressant commercial just because you're the Pope. Not when they could be watching the honey badger video, or anything with cats in it.

How well would a Woodland Creatures Creative Cooperative video do against the Pope Videos head-to-head? We may never know. The volunteers so far are outstanding. In terms of talent, we have an embarrassment of riches. But we need more volunteers. Especially people with videocameras, once we come up with the details for what content we need. The Bear doesn't want to start something that is going to burn out a handful of volunteers. He wants to keep this fun.

The Bear understands his last communique made it sound all serious and boring. But with enough people, it can be fun. The Bear needs your help. Now is the hour for the Woodland Creatures to rise up roaring, and tweeting, and snuffling, and doing whatever it is that fleas do.

You could beat the Pope Videos. Imagine. (Imagine the publicity.) Years from now, when your grandchildren ask you, "What did you do in Francis the Terrible's Pontificate?" you can say, "I helped produce a video that crushed the awful Pope Videos. It was the beginning of the end."

Check the Featured Article in the side-bar. Send that email telling the Bear exactly what you are willing and able to do. There is no one who cannot contribute something.

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