Friday, May 20, 2016

You Might Be a Benedictine Oblate If...


You have made a phone call and recognized the beeps as Tone Four.

When you punish your children, you call it "excommunication" instead of "time out."

You not only know the words to the Hail Holy Queen, but can sing it. In Latin.

You have welcomed Jehovah's Witnesses into your home as an expression of Benedictine hospitality. They left as quickly as possible.

When someone has asked what time it is, you have said, "Vespers, care to join us?"

Your wife giving you the silent treatment after Compline doesn't mean she's mad.

You have ever chanted Psalm 124 in the passenger seat of a moving vehicle.

When people have gotten upset about politics, you have shrugged and said, "Well, we survived the fall of the Roman Empire, so I guess we'll manage."

Your dogs think they are monks, and promptly join you for Lauds and Vespers.

Your plan for surviving the zombiepocalypse is The Rule of St. Benedict.


  1. Would the fact that our cat used to join us for the evening rosary count? Even if she was in another room, as soon as we started the rosary, she would come and join us.

  2. Are you an oblate? With which monastery?

    1. The disreputable Bear does not wish to identify the archabbey he belongs to, for the sake of its reputation. (Although there are only so many archabbies.)


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