Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Bearmageddon Now Featured

Please note that if you ever need a laugh, and it is one of the days when the Bear just isn't coming through for you, you can always find the Bearmageddon link in the sidebar. As the Bear might have written at WXYZ, "See Bearmageddon for all your Bear humor needs."

Articles include:

  • How to avoid Bear online dating scams
  • Bears taken off endangered species list; all other animals placed on it


  1. Oh my goodness - when I first saw this, I laughed and thought you were being sneaky by starting another blog. Then I read some more and think "ah, the younger generation is showing great promise!". Thanks for sharing. I know I would have never had seen this without your introduction.

  2. Well, I guess this is a good time to post this. With Bearmageddon approaching, it's best to be prepared. (I'd been keeping it as a secret weapon, but figure I should share now with non-Bears).

    Epic How To: How To Fight a Bear

  3. The Bear should probably allow your misinformation to stand, but he would not want his friends to go out and try to fight a Bear.

    10 Lies About Bear Encounters You Still Believe

  4. Hey thanks! The site is fairly new. I think you are the first person to post a link on their on site. I appreciate it. -Ethan Nicolle

    1. No problem, Ethan. Now the Bear's billions of readers can enjoy Bearmageddon, too. Love the book.

    2. BTW, Ethan, if you haven't done it, how about "This Bear made $30,000 last month at home using his computer."

    3. And he's in the woods, a bloody desktop next to him, going through the pockets of his victims.

  5. This obviously calls for a salmon. Also, suggest your salmon section be up a bit for easier access and hopefully, effectiveness.

    1. Yes, apart from a certain couple of people, the salmon stream has dried up lately. The Bear cannot blame people. Frankly, this ephemeris has become disgracefully slack of late. But the Bear is always putting his beloved reader first. Panhandling got pushed down on the page where, you're right, it is not easy to find. Maybe he could put it up just below where he shamelessly promotes his dubious novel (due out Christmas!) - if he can ever get the darned ending tweaked to his liking. Oh, well, we got three days left, don't we?

    2. Ah, yes, I've been meaning to say something about that (posts vs JA). Last week you told us not to expect any posts until Oct 1st, but we've been getting a steady stream. Almost like you're avoiding JA work--like I'm avoiding work by reading the ephemeris (where has my day gone?).

      I'm all for a daily dose of Bear, but on the other hand, more than willing to accept a little delayed gratification to ensure that JA actually gets done and released on time. Stay focused! Bearmageddon is coming on its own schedule.

      And speaking of timing (and pardon my Flea's impertinence), is Christmas (25th?) the best release date for a high body count book? Not exactly a Christmas Miracle story from what you've revealed. Being a Catholic thriller, releasing (even promulgating!) on a feast/solemnity is certainly apropos.

      It's too late for feasts of St. Michael, Guardian Angels, & St Raphael. How about a push for Solemnity of Poor Souls? Christ the King (new calendar with its Judgement emphasis)? Or otherwise The Holy Innocents on Dec 28th? That's a body count day.

      Even St. Nicholas (Dec 6th) is a traditional day for gift giving (and he did smack Arius around). That's in time for Christmas. While JA is not a child's book, are we woodland creatures not in a certain sense the spiritual children of the ever paternal Bear?

      But a Christmas release?! I hope that's not literal, and it's at least an Advent release.

    3. The Bear has a long tradition of promising to lay off blogging, then following it up with a steady stream of posts like he had never said it. What can he say? Writing something different cleanses the palate and allows me to get back to JA.

      JA is indeed finished, and Red Death is putting fresh eyes on the manuscript for typos. Well, I'm still playing around with an ending that ticked all my boxes except for one. I am working on getting that last box ticked without creating some other problem. I hope readers will find the ending satisfying, edifying and maddeningly open. (It is far different that what my beta readers got.)

      As for a Christmas release, I suppose that means out in time for people to give some dubious pulp adventure with chapter headings like "Hermann Goering's Watch" and "Send In the Dancing Grils" [sic] to their B-list gift recipients. And what better time to subvert the beloved Christmas Miracle trope than Christmas?

  6. to subvert the beloved Christmas Miracle trope
    I'd expect nothing less after your comment about It's a Wonderful Life a few posts back.

    "Send In the Dancing Grils" [sic]
    You're not going all Hahn on us now with bad puns for chapter titles, are you? I don't think I could forgive you for that.

    Red Death is putting fresh eyes on the manuscript for typos
    "Ooh! Ooh!", Flea said in its best Horshack. "Mr. Kotter, pick me! I'm really good at picking out typos--and even homonyms, bad spell-checker auto-corrections and missing words."
    Flea bats its eyelashes and assumes a cute pouting look.

    Yikes, though. From reading Bearmageddon, the last thing we want is a Bear with all his boxes ticked. That could get ugly.

    1. You're going to have to wait until you get your FREE copy for winning the contest. SEND IN THE DANCING GRILS is not a pun, but, rather, an important milestone in both plot and character development.

      No puns, but each chapter title is designed to pique the reader's curiosity and set the desired tone.

      And, yes. a lot gets subverted, especially sentimentality. I think the only character who doesn't wind up killing someone, now that I think of it, is the six-year-old girl. And there's still time to write that in. I think the body count currently stands at 31. Wait. 32. Maybe one or two more.


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